Where's my lamp

The woman left. I knew she was leaving when she got out of her pajamas and loaded her big bag and laptop into the car. Every time she came into the house to get more things, I attacked her feet and said, what about me. Then she said that’s it. She said by to the man and then petted me and kissed my face and said Daddy will take care of you. Then she left. All that day, I checked the room for her and looked out of the window and then that night she was still gone. I found the man and slapped his foot and he gave me some ham and then I jumped into his lap and went to sleep. The next day, I thought she would be in her bed but she wasn’t and I cried and searched and the man kept telling me that she will be back; but when? Then I just went to bed and was sleeping and dreaming and having fun in my dream and I thought I was dreaming about her because I felt her pet me and heard her say there’s my baby and then I opened my eyes and she was there and I meowed so pitiful to make her feel bad that she left me. Then she said, look, baby, I have a treat for you and she gave me a little toy mouse. Also, another whore doll and she bought a very ugly lamp that has a base like a rabbit. She said to the man, it was only twenty dollars and it will look good sitting on the table next to Bell Bear. Bell Bear indeed. I bite his ears. A lamp just for Bell Bear—he isn’t even real. I only got a plastic mouse and a used whore doll. She thinks I don’t know it was used and probably in the floor board o the car and that the baby probably dropped it there. Where’s my lamp?

Now you see me.

Hey, this is me. The woman learned how to use the camera and to put the pictures of me where she wants. Here, I was sleeping and suddenly there was a flash, and she said look how cute the baby is. I'm still the baby. Doesn't she know that I am a big kitty now and can catch mice, if I wanted to. I can also jump high; like on the book shelf. A baby cannot do that. Also, the woman forgets that I will be one really soon and that is like old in human years. I hope she gets a picture of me in my fighting mode and shows my tail all fluffed out and my back arched. Now that's a picture to behold.

Mine, it's all mine.

So when the kids were here, the Baby wanted my whore doll and the Boy wanted my Spider man doll and they were holding them all wrong and I was walking beside them trying to take them back and the baby dropped whore and I grabbed her and ran and the baby ran and the baby screamed and the woman said what is going on and the baby pointed and jabbered and the boy, who I think is a communists, said that I took the baby’s doll. The woman said it is okay there are plenty of dolls and I think she loves me more or she would have made me give the whore back. So, when no one was looking, I took all my toys, whore doll, spider man doll, the little bitty bear, and the plastic hamburger paddy, and hid them under the woman’s bed. I stuck my head out and guarded my toys and when I heard little feet coming, I scooted things far back. Yes I did. After two days, the man and woman took the kids home and the house was quiet again. The woman’s lap was free for just me, the man brought food into the living room and when he wasn’t looking, I ate, and all is well.

I want mouse

The woman had friends over and they really wanted me to let them touch me, but I played hard to get. Sometimes, I would walk real close and flop down and watch as they stretched to touch me and I’d smell them. While they smelled good, I would not let them touch me too much. Plus, I could tell the woman was getting nervous and a little jealous. Also, I was a little gassy and didn’t want to make them too sick after they ate. The woman says, kitty, you need some gas x. I close my eyes and push my ears down because I don’t think my gas is all that bad. Plus, it’s the food. Oh, and the kids are coming later today and I get to play chase the baby and run with the boy. The baby is easy to catch but the boy is real fast. I need to go and hide the whore doll and spider man so the kids won’t get them. There are just toys I’m not willing to share. Oh, and I got real close to a real mouse. I’m going to catch it, and play with it, and eat it. The woman doesn't like the mouse, and when she sees one, she always runs to the man and says it's back, we need to buy poison. I run sideways to where the mouse hides and sniff and fluff out my tail and wait. I'll protect the woman and kill that mean old mouse. I really will. She says for me to leave it alone that it probably has diseases and the man says that she is being animal classiests, whatever that means. I just want that little mouse.

whore doll

I have lots and lots of toys. Most are soft and cuddly but some are big and make noise, like the big red square. My favorite toy is the doll. She’s little and has long blond hair and a bright red dress and tiny feet; she’s a miniature Barbie. The Baby got her in a thing called a happy meal. Anyway, it stays here, like many other of the kids’ toys. But, the woman calls it the whore doll. Sometimes she’ll pick it up and say, sweetie, here’s the whore doll, and she scoots it across the floor and I chase it and pounce on it and wrap my body around it. I love the whore doll. I also love Peanut, the boy’s three legged soft puppy. I eat his feet and his nose and his ears. He sits on the bed with the bell bear that I’m not supposed to play with. But, when the woman is gone, I hit that bell bear in the face with my paws and kick it with my back paws and I eat its ears. I also like the baby’s crib, her big pusher toy, and her soft blanket. Did I tell you all my fur grew back from where they cut me? Yeah, and it isn’t even sore. Gotta go, there’s still wrapping paper left on the Boy’s bed and I need to go jump in it.

Naps

The woman and I take naps together. She says, come on Baby, let’s go to bed. I run down the hall after her and jump into bed before her and cannot wait until she gets in her spot and gets still, because I can snuggle real close and we sleep for hours. Sometime she doesn’t go to sleep right away and she massages my shoulders and my back. I purr and she breathes real nice. She’s been sick, but I think she’s better. She is actually doing a little house cleaning, which I love. Also, she is going outside more and even walking a little. She is even going to get the kids next weekend. Oh boy, the kids.