Where there's smoke

And so the woman brought in big thick and thin sticks of wood. I smelled them and they made me excited. I think I smell birds on them and squirrels. My sister, Penny, went nuts. She tried to climb up one that was leaning and it rolled. Then when the woman was starting the fire in the fire place, the kitty tried to get in and the woman kept saying get back. I am a big girl and know not to play with fire. Then, smoke started rolling out of the fireplace and the woman moved the logs so the fire would go out and then the smoke was making her cough and I was scared for her and then she got our carrier and then she put us in and then she took us to the car and then she went back and opened all the windows and then I was afraid she wasn’t coming back and that the smoke would eat her and I couldn’t see and Penny was crying and I was trying to make her stop and then I hear the woman and she is in the car and turns the carrier around and she is breathing hard and loud and she uses her white breathing thing and says, what the fuck. So, we sat in the car and she let us out of our carrier and we sat on the dashboard so we could see and waited for hours. She called the man and said she smoked the house all up and that the fire alarms were going crazy and she couldn’t breathe and was trying to get the girls in their carrier to get them outside. She kept saying we’re fine. I’m fine. Don’t come home. Then, she read, we played, and finally she put us back in our carrier and we went back inside. That was our late afternoon and evening. The house still smells like burned oak, but there is no smoke.

Enough is Enough

Penny is really a pain in the butt. She does all these really bad things and I get in trouble for. Like she plays in the litter box. The woman will clean it and make it all nice and fresh and then Penny gets in and starts slinging the litter stuff everywhere and onto the floor and the woman says, Girls, that means me too, quit making such a mess. See, I get the blame too. Then, she spills the food bowl and splashes in the water bowl and knocks things off the cabinet. Well, I admit that I sometimes do that too, but I don’t knock off breakable things, she does. And, she tries to get my warm spot by the woman . So, yesterday, she kept being a brat and so I held her down and then she got loose and bit me on my lip and my ear and so I got really mad and so I held her down and ate her belly with my teeth. She laughed at first but then she cried and I let go and the woman said, Ginger, don’t eat the baby. I wasn’t eating her, I was biting her and hurting her for all those times that she hurted my lip. When she bites my lip, the woman never says, Penny, don’t bite Ginger’s lip. No. So, having a baby sister is not all that is built up to be. Plus, she keeps trying to bite my titties. Why does she do that?

We are a big family

For my birthday and the welcome of the new kitty, the man and woman got us this great big climbing sleeping thing and we can scratch it without getting fussed at. And, we got new toys that we can chase and balls we can roll and I love living here. Oh, and the woman got us some more catnip and I like that. The baby kitty, well, she is good. We bathe together, sleep together, and play together. It’s nice when I’m here by myself with the woman and man leave to work and I have the baby to play with. Plus, she is warm and snuggly. Sometimes she bites my lips and my ears and I have to hold her down. The other day, the woman took her to the vet and when she came back the kitty was crying and I cuddled her. Then the woman said that we both go in three weeks for our boosters and for nail clippings. I don’t mind nail clippings. All the doc does is gently cut the sharp point off. One time the woman painted them red and I didn’t like that and tried to lick it off. The woman said that was big mistake, so she hasn’t painted them again. Soon, we get to play on the back porch. I like that too.
I am now the big kitty and the baby is the little kitty and we are both sweety.

Penny Candy

So, the woman took the kitty away. I heard the kitty crying and saw the woman carrying the box that she puts me in to take me places. Then, I took a nap and she came back with the kitty and said it was okay for the kitty to really meet me and that the kitty didn’t have bad diseases. So, she let the kitty stay in the carrier for a little while then she opened it and I saw it and smelled it and ran. Once the kitty started running and I chased her and tripped her. It was fun. But then the woman said be careful.
I didn’t like the kitty at first cause it so loud and cried all the time but then I liked it and gave her a bath and cuddled her for a little while. I think the kitty is fun. Now if the woman would just give me my mouse back.
So, the kitty’s name is Penny. Penny Candy.

Small Things

I like chasing crickets and pushing them around and holding them down and biting off their legs. It makes the woman squeal, no kitty. I also like mice. I like to stalk them and stare them down and wait for them to sneak out from under the stove, and I chase them. The other night, I caught one and the woman was reading and the man said, what has she got, and the woman said, whore doll, and the man said, unless whore doll grew a tail, I don’t think so, then I ran to give it to the woman and when I jumped to get in her lap and give her the wiggly mouse, she screamed, oh my god, she has a tail hanging out of her mouth, get it. The man, laughed, and I dropped my mouse at her feet and she went nuts. (I’ve said, she has issues). But, when I dropped the mouse, it ran and I chased and caught it and it was fun. But, the man took that mouse and put it outside. Then the woman said, I’m putting out poison. I don’t care about PETA.
Then, they left and were gone for hours and I was worried but when they came home, they had a carrier, like mine, and inside was this little squeaky thing, and I thought, yeah, they brought me a mouse, and I ran down the hall. They put it in the spare room and I tried to look under the door and could barely squeeze my paw under and I meowed and then I heard it: a kitten. A tiny kitten going meowwwwing and the woman holding it and snuggling with it. The man went in too and they said, no Ginger, you stay here. So, all weekend, I’ve had my nose to the floor trying to catch a glimpse of this new kitten. The woman said, after we know that she doesn’t have diseases, you can meet her. Where did they get this kitty that it would have diseases? EWWWW.

It's hot

The woman keeps saying that I'm getting a sister. What's a sister? The boy has a sister and she screams a lot. Am I getting one of her? I wish she understood me. I don't want a sister. I want tuna. Yeah, a lot of tuna in the bowl by my water. She said the sister is tiny and still has its eyes closed. Well, why would she want something that doesn't open its eyes? She said that she thinks that the sister will keep me company; I have Bell Bear and Whore Doll and the mouse under the stove. Why does she have to bring a screaming sister?

Oh, I have fleas and the woman is so mad. She said the flea medicine doesn't work and now the baby, that's me, has allergies again. She cut my hair where I itch and put the medicine on my skin so that I don't itch. It works but she keeps looking for the fleas and makes me hold my head down or up or over to the side, then she lifts my tail and looks at my butt for fleas. She's obsessed with fleas.

The pillow is soft. I think I'll put my head down for just a minute. Yawn.

It jumps

So there was this giant thing in the floor and it hopped and hopped and I chased it and caught it and then it got loose again and it hopped and hopped. The woman screamed for the man and he came and caught it and put it outside and the woman said, kitty, we are civilized here and we don't eat insects. I am watching the door incase it comes back in. I will eat that insect.

Fur is sure sticky

The man and the woman took off and left me alone. That’s right. I’s alone except for the woman’s friend. She came and petted me and made sure I had food and water. So, when the woman and the man came home, I let them know how sad I was that they were gone. I bit the woman’s hand, I tapped the man’s foot, and then I snuggled and let the madness go. Today, I’m on the screened back porch watching the birds and thinking how easy it would be for me to snatch one out of that tree. Sometimes, I hiss at them and other times I meow. The woman says, it’s okay. They won’t hurt my baby. Ha. I eat those birds, if I could.
Whoops, gotta go. I think I hear a mouse.

I like a lot.

I think I've scratched again. The woman is putting powder on my head and reminding me that I'm not supposed to scratch and she is saying I need my nails clipped, something she won't do, so I gots to go to the vet. I like the vet, but I don't like going away from the woman.

I like bubble baths. When the woman gets the tub full of bubbles, and gets in, I like to swat the bubbles. One time I fell in and got all wet. I like the shower too and sometimes stick my head in and chase the water coming down.

I also like the woman's lap and the man's feet. Both are nice to sleep on and they don't wake me up. I like the whore dolls, and think I need new ones, since I've eaten the faces off. I like the woman's shoes, but she says no kitty. I also like the lap top and when the woman writes, I cuddle with it and sometimes swat at her hands when they go every where.

I don't like the flea medicine that she puts on my neck. It makes me feel bad for a day or two even if she says and the vets says it's harmless. I don't like popcorn, it sticks in my mouth and taste bad. I hate the cold weather cause then I cannot go out on the back porch and watch the birds building their nests. I wish the screan weren't there and I could chase those birds.

Kids and Kitty

The kids were last weekend and they had been gone for a long time, like three weeks or something. They both ran and chased me and I chased them and hissed, I hissed a lot. When I hissed, the Baby cried and the Boy laughed. The woman would say, Kitty, don’t hiss at the Baby, you hurt her feelings. Well, funny how when the kids are here, I am not the baby but Kitty and the bigger I get, and the Baby is getting bigger too, the more I get fussed at. Plus, the Baby sits in the woman’s lap all the time and I cannot get there and so I hide beside the chair and swat at the woman’s arm until she looks down and I meow all pitiful. So, at night when they all go to sleep, I curl up on the woman and if she turns over, I find a new place on her to curl. When the kids went back to their house, I got in the woman’s lap and did not budge and she scratched my chin, and rubbed my back, and I even let wash my face with a damp cloth—something I really hate. This week, the big boy is coming. His feet stink and he eats all the time. The woman said he is hitting puberty and we need to give him room. Room for what?

Oh, and I forgot, I've been hanging out on the screened back porch and there's a feral kitty who comes over and puts her nose on the screen. The woman is feeding her. I want to play with this little kitty and be friends, but the woman says she is wild and if we do catch her and keep her, she has to go to the vet and get shots and flead and wormed and all of that. I hope I see her today.

Going to the doctor, again.

I had to go to the hospital. I’m allergic to fleas. The woman takes pride in keeping the fleas off of me, but one must have found its way on and bit me. Anyway, I itched and itched and scratched and scratched and then she put medicine on it and tried putting booties on my paws to stop the itching, but that didn’t work. So, she called the vet and he made an appointment.

I tried not to get in the carrier, cause I know when I get in there something bad is about to happen. But, she tricked me by throwing whore doll in and I followed and then she took whore doll out. She said she didn’t want the doctor to think we were letting our baby play with misogynistic toys.

Anyway, then we were in the car and I cried and then we were in the office and I cried and then we were on the examining table and I hid under the woman’s arms. The doctor said that I had to have shots and stay overnight for treatment cause I am real allergic. So, the woman was sad and said but she doesn’t have her pillow or a soft blanket and the doctor said she could go home and bring something back and the woman said, I’ll leave my shirt and she went into another room and took off her soft t-shirt that I like so well and put it on the table and I snuggled on it and then that doctor gave me two shots in my hips. Ouch!

The woman left and I thought I’s never going to see her again and I’s glad she left me the shirt.
Later, they gave me a shot that knocked me out and then they shaved my hair off of my neck and put a lot of medicine on me and gave me more shots and when I woke up, the woman was there. I meowed and meowed and even when the doctor was talking to her and telling her how good I was and how much better I was and how it wasn’t her fault, I meowed and the woman said, baby, shh! But I couldn’t shh. Not on the way home, not when she put the carrier on the bed, and not when I ran through the house looking for whore doll, and not even when I sat on the litter box. I meowed and meowed.

Where's my lamp

The woman left. I knew she was leaving when she got out of her pajamas and loaded her big bag and laptop into the car. Every time she came into the house to get more things, I attacked her feet and said, what about me. Then she said that’s it. She said by to the man and then petted me and kissed my face and said Daddy will take care of you. Then she left. All that day, I checked the room for her and looked out of the window and then that night she was still gone. I found the man and slapped his foot and he gave me some ham and then I jumped into his lap and went to sleep. The next day, I thought she would be in her bed but she wasn’t and I cried and searched and the man kept telling me that she will be back; but when? Then I just went to bed and was sleeping and dreaming and having fun in my dream and I thought I was dreaming about her because I felt her pet me and heard her say there’s my baby and then I opened my eyes and she was there and I meowed so pitiful to make her feel bad that she left me. Then she said, look, baby, I have a treat for you and she gave me a little toy mouse. Also, another whore doll and she bought a very ugly lamp that has a base like a rabbit. She said to the man, it was only twenty dollars and it will look good sitting on the table next to Bell Bear. Bell Bear indeed. I bite his ears. A lamp just for Bell Bear—he isn’t even real. I only got a plastic mouse and a used whore doll. She thinks I don’t know it was used and probably in the floor board o the car and that the baby probably dropped it there. Where’s my lamp?

Now you see me.

Hey, this is me. The woman learned how to use the camera and to put the pictures of me where she wants. Here, I was sleeping and suddenly there was a flash, and she said look how cute the baby is. I'm still the baby. Doesn't she know that I am a big kitty now and can catch mice, if I wanted to. I can also jump high; like on the book shelf. A baby cannot do that. Also, the woman forgets that I will be one really soon and that is like old in human years. I hope she gets a picture of me in my fighting mode and shows my tail all fluffed out and my back arched. Now that's a picture to behold.

Mine, it's all mine.

So when the kids were here, the Baby wanted my whore doll and the Boy wanted my Spider man doll and they were holding them all wrong and I was walking beside them trying to take them back and the baby dropped whore and I grabbed her and ran and the baby ran and the baby screamed and the woman said what is going on and the baby pointed and jabbered and the boy, who I think is a communists, said that I took the baby’s doll. The woman said it is okay there are plenty of dolls and I think she loves me more or she would have made me give the whore back. So, when no one was looking, I took all my toys, whore doll, spider man doll, the little bitty bear, and the plastic hamburger paddy, and hid them under the woman’s bed. I stuck my head out and guarded my toys and when I heard little feet coming, I scooted things far back. Yes I did. After two days, the man and woman took the kids home and the house was quiet again. The woman’s lap was free for just me, the man brought food into the living room and when he wasn’t looking, I ate, and all is well.

I want mouse

The woman had friends over and they really wanted me to let them touch me, but I played hard to get. Sometimes, I would walk real close and flop down and watch as they stretched to touch me and I’d smell them. While they smelled good, I would not let them touch me too much. Plus, I could tell the woman was getting nervous and a little jealous. Also, I was a little gassy and didn’t want to make them too sick after they ate. The woman says, kitty, you need some gas x. I close my eyes and push my ears down because I don’t think my gas is all that bad. Plus, it’s the food. Oh, and the kids are coming later today and I get to play chase the baby and run with the boy. The baby is easy to catch but the boy is real fast. I need to go and hide the whore doll and spider man so the kids won’t get them. There are just toys I’m not willing to share. Oh, and I got real close to a real mouse. I’m going to catch it, and play with it, and eat it. The woman doesn't like the mouse, and when she sees one, she always runs to the man and says it's back, we need to buy poison. I run sideways to where the mouse hides and sniff and fluff out my tail and wait. I'll protect the woman and kill that mean old mouse. I really will. She says for me to leave it alone that it probably has diseases and the man says that she is being animal classiests, whatever that means. I just want that little mouse.

whore doll

I have lots and lots of toys. Most are soft and cuddly but some are big and make noise, like the big red square. My favorite toy is the doll. She’s little and has long blond hair and a bright red dress and tiny feet; she’s a miniature Barbie. The Baby got her in a thing called a happy meal. Anyway, it stays here, like many other of the kids’ toys. But, the woman calls it the whore doll. Sometimes she’ll pick it up and say, sweetie, here’s the whore doll, and she scoots it across the floor and I chase it and pounce on it and wrap my body around it. I love the whore doll. I also love Peanut, the boy’s three legged soft puppy. I eat his feet and his nose and his ears. He sits on the bed with the bell bear that I’m not supposed to play with. But, when the woman is gone, I hit that bell bear in the face with my paws and kick it with my back paws and I eat its ears. I also like the baby’s crib, her big pusher toy, and her soft blanket. Did I tell you all my fur grew back from where they cut me? Yeah, and it isn’t even sore. Gotta go, there’s still wrapping paper left on the Boy’s bed and I need to go jump in it.

Naps

The woman and I take naps together. She says, come on Baby, let’s go to bed. I run down the hall after her and jump into bed before her and cannot wait until she gets in her spot and gets still, because I can snuggle real close and we sleep for hours. Sometime she doesn’t go to sleep right away and she massages my shoulders and my back. I purr and she breathes real nice. She’s been sick, but I think she’s better. She is actually doing a little house cleaning, which I love. Also, she is going outside more and even walking a little. She is even going to get the kids next weekend. Oh boy, the kids.